On the way home from putting some gas in my car i was thinking about a conversation that my dad and i had a few days ago. Actually, less of the conversation and more of one sentence he said.
He told me "...doing it because you can do it, or are you doing it because your heart leads you there..." something along the lines of that. Ever since then i've been pondering on the idea of Heart. What is heart really? i began to come to the conclusion that it is a selfish need for something, but i wasent quite satisfied with that conclusion so i pondered some more and eventually came up with my final thoughts on the poor thing. Heart, as i beleive it to be, is a simple desire. Well, not even that says it, more like pure desire. Pure isisnt exactly the word i'm looking for either but i'm sure it'll do for now. Anyway, i beleive that heart tracends the selfish aspect of need and want and becomes a pure and awesome thing. i also beleive that it is somehow linked to your instinct. I beleive that this is my premature notion of what the meaning of "Heart" is and possibly "Soul" as well. Some food for thought for you and i.

Another thought of mien is i feel invisible. I feel like i've been dissapearing with those who i'm supposed to be clear as day and night with. To name a few is Cypher City Kings, Martin A., Omar G., Mane One, etc. Now that i have no school for a while i'm going to take advantage of it and, hopefully, be spending more time with people.

Lastly, celtics won tonight.
Boo ya.







Anyone down to watch the first game of the playoffs with me?
Thursday @ 5:00. I'll bring the cheetoh puffs and sour cream.

Linguistics

The more i think about it the more i realize it was a right decision.
Yes, i am no longer a part of the Cypher City Kings.
Anyone who knows anyone who knows me, knows that i always talk about music, bboying, gas prices, etc.
I love that crew, still do, but the more i think about it the more i understand of why i did it.
You know those little urges you get to do something and you do it, but you have no idea why the hell you did it and a few days/years later you understand why you did it; why you took that leap; why you said no to that drink; why you took the bus;why. I understand a little bit more now.
I think that mot people have a good idea of who they are, though it canbe argued that no one knows anything, but for the sake of blogging and keeping as sane as i am we'll stick to the common day knowledge that most people have a good idea of who they are or at least put up a fasade that they know.
I have no fucking clue who i am, but i know that somewhere in me i know and when i think about myself and who i've become i'm pretty proud. But i know i can co better.
As a bboy, i feel that i'm not me anymore. Ever since i joined cck my mind has been thinking a little differently. Instead of just dancing and what not i start thinking of individual moves and what better hen and how and such. I look at myslef and i can hardly recognize it.
This isint the kid who was influenced by Batman or Zorro or Ghandhi, this is someone else. I don't know if anyone else can see it, but i know i do and thats what matters.
I was reading a post on the freestyle sessions board just the other day. Mane posted something about style. I think style is what makes you you. "Because it's not what you don't do, it's what you do do" (Thanks Elizabeth) I dance because i love hip-hop, not what it's become, but what it truly means. it means bringing people together, it means looking past differences, it means so much. It's being raped by hypocrites right and left, and i don't want to do that. When i bboy the music doesn't tell me anything, the music and i have a conversation.
Aretha shows me how to keep the funk alive and to not let anyone hold me down, to be me.
James tells me to search my funk for the tightest tune
Kane says to keep rollin and show everyone what i'm workin with.

I havent had a descent conversation in a while.
Sorry.
Love,

Alex Calderon,
Quicky1508
Clark Kent