Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Elizabeth

oh elizabeth....
i have no idea what to say.
You've asked me to make you feel better but i cannot make you do anything.
I can help you, and as much as i want to I'm affraid that anything i will say will be interperted wrong.

There was this one time at borders where me and a group of peole were putting a pile of books to their assigned piles. i've been doing it for a few hours now so i got quite good, then i see this little red figure stumble along from side to side, confusingly. As i look up i see this confused person turning her torso from right to left, left to right, and looking down at all the piles placing piles of books down randomly. I thought it was the funniest thing. i put the rest of my books down in their proper place and asked if she needed help and she did -- a lot. I explained and she got it and we kept talking. We kept talking evertime we met and i discovered, probably, the most charming and funniest girl i've met in a long time. we came close friends and i like to think that i make a difference in her life. She deserves the world and all it's riches, and she is loved by many.

and quite frankly, that nun touching cunt can go eat a dick and fall off a cliff because thats what he deserves for making my friend frown.

Alyssa

I've met Elizabeths' best friend, and jacked her.
Boo ya.


Seriously though,
never have a i met a person with so many strange things in common with me.
And i'm not talking about the august 12th thing, nor am i talking about the being scared of water thing
oh no my newly discovered best friend
-oh no-
i'm talking about the one thing that we have in common that is truly strange...

We're both FRIENDS with elizabeth







i just gave you a second to realize the complexity of that.

I didin't know know she had friends either...
makes you wonder what else she's been hiding...

No but really,
it was such an honor to meet you. I've always thought that i was so strange because I'm afraid of the ocean and such but you made me feel a little less strange and a little more significant among the rest of the tens of thousands of hundreds billions of people than we share this earth with.
it was such a pleasure to meet a person like myself.
i must say, if were anything alike -
I am fucking awesome.
and you are too my friend.

p.s. I guess I'm doing pretty damn good since now i don't just have one great friend, but now i have 2.
Score:
1 for the Alex that matters.

Oatmeal

i find myself eating oatmeal and listening to billy holiday.
The latter is not so much significant, other than it's soft, sweet music that hovers over me. But Oatmeal, it has great significance to me. Oatmeal is the food unknown; no, not the unknown food -- i just told you: it's oatmeal. But the food unknown. I say this because oatmeal is the thing i eat when i have no fucking clue what to eat. This indecision can be brought upon by many things. Today, for instance, as i walked into my home - which smelled like ass because my sister "cooked" again for her fiancee - i had a unknown feeling. Everyone knows that feeling. You're starving but theres nothing, and you're sure that theres actually plenty of things to eat but all of your creative juices have been ringed from you 'til every last drop has been dripped and mopped from the floor to try and prove you've never had any. So what do you do? i dunno, but i know i eat oatmeal. When i feel that weird empty feeling at the pit of my stomach, and it's not due from food or indigestion - no - it's from something else. The midnight (10:00 p.m.) air? The nasty ass smell? West Indian girl playing on the radio before arriving home? 75 for a few days worth of gas? You don't feel down but neither do you feel up. You just are. and making you think about it make you feel even more empty, if possible. Thats where oatmeal comes to play, oatmeal, to me, lets you settle inbetween the i can and can't and gives you the freedom to say "...eh...". It lets you not make a choice. it lets you say "fuck it" to the omniscient "man" in your subconscious mind and promotes your indicision. It, literally, pitches down a hamick in between a rock and a hard place and lets you chill the fuck out. Good job you, you just stuck it to the subconscious man.
Fight the power.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

After a little 45 minute session i hopped in the shower and well...took a shower. i was thinking about the tatto i plan to get. it's Siddartha, later to be known as Buddha, sitting under the famous bohdi tree where he found enlightenment. The bodhi trees' roots will crawl all the way down to my fingers and it'll look pretty tight. i also want to get some more tatt's but that is the one i look forward to and planned out most. As i was thinking this i was wondering if I'd be considered a hypocrite. Everyone has seen those guys who wear tribal tattoos who's closes encounter to any tribe is in the back of a casino pucking they're all-you can eat buffet. I thought, no I'm not because I'm not getting Buddha, I'm getting premature Buddha; before enlightenment. Plus i don't drink. But to get back to my point, i further defend my siddartha tattoo by saying under the bodhi tree is where he had to overcome his test on the way to enlightenment. Therefore i'm not saying I'm enlightened, nor am i showing my worship to buddha ( that'd be hypocritical in so many ways), I'm just relating to him and looking to him to find my own enlightenment. Just as he did.
As i was thinking all this i also thought across a book i remember reading, i forgot which one but none the less i remember reading that it was recorded that whenever buddha was asked about ladies under any terms he would simply imply stay aware and stay awake- i think. anyways i was a little confused by this and further thought that buddha had nothing against women, he just knew the mind was frail and weak and had to over come many test. also the root of all suffering, known as the first of noble truths, is suffering. Therefore if you do not stay awake and aware the next thing you are gunna realize is that you're attracted to the girl you're thinking about kama sutraing.
This also lead to the thought that buddhism is quite inappropriate in this time and day. before you say anything let me finish. Buddhism is the enlightenment of an individual. if every individual was to be enlightened we would all get along and we would all die sooner or later, but not only that but there would be no more human race. thats fine and dandy until you think about how badly we've fucked our selfs already. First off we have who knows how many nuclear weapons, and the planet is turning to an open debris air garden. lets clean our mess while we try to find enlightenment and hope cleaning is done before the latter.
I'm just saying, we should mind our manners.

Now that i re-read this whole thing, the whole damn thing just sounds like me ranting. but since i haven't updated in a while i think I'll post my wild shower adventure.