I'm running away this summer and I'm not looking back.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Peanut Butter and Jelly Feist
So i was having my lunch at my usual spot, reading the SD City beat and listening to Feist's "The Reminder" Album (really good album b.t.w., but the bonus songs are kinda crap). Anyway, off topic, so i was sitting, eating, listening, and reading when my memory flashed me back to when i was in the car a couple of days ago listening to 94.9 and they were talking about Cochella. 94.9 always makes a big deal of this event and then i was thinking "the last time i heard this was..." and then i started to think that it's been a year since i last heard that commercial. Analyzing my year i was struck down again and again, it felt like i took one step to the side and two and half steps back since then. it made me disappointed in myself, though i did learn some very valuable lessons that i hope never to lose sight of. I'd say that i had a real crap year. I realized that many of those people i call friends, really aren't, which i've to see as a very good thing but a little sad. I also realized that here, I'm stuck in between an ocean and a desert - i don't belong here, now, and as passe as this may sound: I'm never going to find my self here. I'll never learn who i am here, in San Diego.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
where do you plan to go this summer??? =/
and i totally get what you mean by the "not real friends" thing... i've thought about that a lot recently..and i've been pretty sad and depressed over it... i guess the best you can do (and what i tried to do) was just be thankful for those friends who actually ARE your TRUE friends and who are there for you. :)
I'll let you know when i visit you next week :]
and yeah, the whole friends situation is just friggin' frustrating. -_- but i know what you mean, and yeah thats really all we can do. so cool. hahah
...although, it's rarely as bad as it seems.
I think a lot of it boils down to context. Was it really a crap year? Did you actually disappoint yourself? I mean, what was so crap about the year? How did you disappoint yourself? Disappointment comes from expectation. What did you expect yourself to do?
There's a quote I like:
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
For example, being "stuck in between an ocean and a desert" turns into realizing how COOL it is that you can easily go to a desert. A guy in Ohio couldn't do that. And think about how many people DREAM of living in a place like San Diego. Maybe it's hard to perceive it that way if you grew up there. It's trying to see the forest when you live in one of the trees. But I can tell you, having lived all over the U.S., San Diego is one of those spots that people in the mid-west or east coast dream of living in. Instead of being stuck in between an ocean & a desert, they'd be thinking how dope it is to LIVE by the ocean. San Diego, Hollywood, Santa Monica...these are places people dream of, and you live in one. And as I freeze my ass off as it snows in Japan, I'm thinking about how I miss that perfect weather back in San Diego. Shi~t. haha.
You know some pretty dope people who are down for you. Some might be better friends than others, but you also gotta take some responsibility in that connection. Do your part.
I know you how you feel, though. It's easy for a year to go by and feel like you accomplished nothing. It's easy to feel like no one is really there for you, especially as they are caught up in doing their own thing. So you're not alone in that. Oh wait, not alone. None of us are, really. I mean, look: you even have comments on your blog post pretty quickly.
It's not easy being Superman, Clark, but you have to be a fresh you so you can help save the world. The Justice League needs you.
Yo, thanks Storm. Unfortunantly, there were a lot of not so positive events that happened, of coarse there were a lot of positive ones too. Very luckily i have the chance to move for school, which was always been my plan to begin with - to move around for school - and i think it's perfect timing because as beautiful and awesome as San Diego is, it has come to feel like i need to get out of here. I'm more than positive you know how it feels when you feel like you want to move around and/or change scenery. Thank you for al your friends my friend.
Post a Comment