wtf?

I'm so confused, and worried. 

i'm dancing again,

and it feels so good.

fucking up

i feel like im fucking up like never before, and i don't even know why. i feel horrible, again. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me honestly, i wosh i could say more. i thought that my feeling would be at the nerve endings of the tips of my fingers but they're not here either. They're not in my motor muscles in my mouth. Where the fuck!LKJ@HR faghpaerbfglb ahjlrsdgfhcnelhkfjbnoALKRSJHXNoajklhdnlHKJAFBVACLJHSFBV OUEJHLRTF378IURTYH 458EPIRFGHCMXAEIRYS,UCM VF,ACPUIRAS CFJ,XNOSEILHTV C8DY54OWIUFECHVS MOYEAXJR;SHT MDSE,8ODI4 UVHNMC,A

i don't even know.

Thoughts

My mind has been bombarded with many initiating thoughts these past few days. There's been a lot on my mind, school, girlfriend, work, dance, family, future, past, present. I can't say that i've been completely 100% happy, nor can i say i've been sad - contemplative, really. I wish i could type absolutely everything on my mind, but that would be close to impossible. I have so many thoughts that i cant think of anything to write, I'm really just writing filler for no vessel - sunofabitch. I talked to one of my very best friends today, Ela, she's doing pretty good in Chicago but of coarse she misses San Diego and the life she created here. Chicago is a beautiful place though, or so i've heard from her - over and over again. She's really bored but i'm sure that once she adjust and gets her life rolling there that she'll have an even better and better time. Spanish class is boring as hell, it makes me sleepy - but i did make a new friend - melinda; big shout out. Communications class is pretty awesome, the teacher is crazy - and i like it. Art class is fucking tight, i love watching movies. We watched Young Frankenstein yesterday, and i have to argue that it's Mel Brooks best movies, don't get me wrong: blazing saddles was hilarious but young frankenstein remains my favorite.

Theres a lot on my mind and meditation, for once, has been making it worse. i think this is one of those times i actually need someone to listen to me - wow  what a fucking concept. 

I think it's just because i have low self-esteem and bad self conscience issues -_-

I've been away for a while.

sorry kids. my time has been placed among my girlfriend, work, and moving out. 

I haven't had internet for the last 3 months, going on 4 in February, well it's not like i have any loyal readers or anything but i like to pretend i do. 

Anyway, classes started yesterday and I'm taking communications, spanish, music, and art. No I'm not drawing, before you think I'm talented, it's history of film as an art - so that tells you how artsy as i can get. I'll leave all that stuff to Sake and Bookum. By the way, big shout out to those guys, haven't talked to them in forever.

In other news, i've found that i don't like western philosophy. I really don't, kinda sad. Talking about extestentionalism and what is the meaning of life, and what is god, and all that other stuff really doesnt get my blood going. What i really love is eastern philosophy, now that stuff is awesome because it talked about the now and what to improve and how to do so, and made it into a logical thing. Not just your mom saying don't drink 'cause it's bad for ya! 

So i'm thinking to changing my major to Religious Studies, Liberal Arts/Education, or Food and Nutrition. 

tell me what you think.